The Golden Calf

Exodus 32: Supervision required

While Moses was up on Mount Sinai receiving his moral guidance from the Lord, the Children of Israel naturally assumed he had gone AWOL, and so turned to Aaron for spiritual guidance.

Not having had the benefit of the Lord’s guidance, Aaron did the best he could: he collected up all the Israelites’ gold …Continue reading The Golden Calf

The Naive Magicians III

Exodus 10: Pharaoh’s had enough

Moses and Aaron, getting slightly tired of the whole magic show charade, went to the Pharaoh and asked, “How much longer are you going to keep this up? Just let the Hebrews go already, or this time it’ll be locusts.”
“Fine, fine,” sighed the Pharaoh, “Who do you need to take with you?”
“Men, …Continue reading The Naive Magicians III

The Naive Magicians II

Exodus 9: One step forward, two steps back

For the umpteenth time, the Lord appeared to Moses and said “Go tell the Pharaoh that I say to let the Hebrews go, or there’s going to be trouble.” At this point, the Pharaoh must have surely been wondering why God didn’t just relay the message himself, rather than …Continue reading The Naive Magicians II

The Naive Magicians I

Exodus 8: Abracadabra

The Pharaoh, still unwilling to let the Hebrews leave Egypt, had not been moved by Moses and Aaron’s magic trick turning the Nile into a stinky, blood-filled stream, so when the two brothers went again to ask him to let the Hebrews go, they were met with a flat ‘no’.

Once again, Aaron raised his …Continue reading The Naive Magicians I

The snake contest

Exodus 7: Size does matter

Moses must have been an incredibly absent-minded man, as the Lord had to tell him, once again, that Aaron would be Moses’ spokesperson, that they should go to Egypt to free the Hebrews, that the Pharaoh wouldn’t let them, and that God would smite the Egyptians.

So Moses and Aaron went to the …Continue reading The snake contest

Moses exacerbates the problem

Exodus 5-6: Repetition, repetition, repetition

Moses and Aaron went to the Pharaoh and said to him, “The Lord God of Israel says ‘Let my people go, that they may hold a feast in the wilderness.’” Predictably, the Pharaoh was skeptical, but the two men continued, “We pray thee – we really need to make this trip to …Continue reading Moses exacerbates the problem

Abram and Sarai

Genesis 12-14: Pimp my wife

One day, the Lord came to Abram, one of Noah’s many descendants, and told him to take his family on a journey to another place, where Abram would blessedly form a great nation. Unfortunately, there was a famine, and Abram decided to wait it out in Egypt.

On arrival in Egypt, Abram said …Continue reading Abram and Sarai